There’ll be times in your life you’ll have to compromise. There’ll be times in your life you just have to take a deep breath and push on through. ‘That’s pride fucking with you’, to quote Pulp Fiction’s Marcellus Wallace. I bet he wasn’t even Scottish. And I bet he never had to deal with an abberation of a child’s toy like Hasbro’s Bop-It.
I loved Hasbro, growing up. And that love would’ve been reciprocated, had they have known just how much solid Christmas and birthday wedge my family blew on Transformer toys. I had so many of them, it was unreal. I swear they’d be worth a small fortune had I not lost all the fists and guns. Yeah, they came with separate fists, for some reason. I don’t know. Probably the best things for infants to choke to death on or something. And I think my mum gave them away anyway. Something I’ll never forgive her for. If she did. I’ll have to ask her.
I remember I loved the Dinobots. But come on. I was a kid. Nothing in my child’s brain at any point went ‘hang on. These are meant to blend in with human society, right? That’s why most of them are cars and planes and shit like that.’ You’d have to say that a 30 foot long metal, fire-breathing triceratops wandering around downtown Manhattan is fighting a losing battle on the inconspicuous front.
They also had a UFO. Like…what?!
Anyway, if you don’t already know about Bop-It, you don’t need to know. If you do, you have my sympathies.blog comments powered by Disqus