JUVÉDERM®

Plastic surgery. Never understood it. You’re the age you are. What’s the problem? The notion that youth is something to aspire to I find so weird. Maybe it was because I was a rudderless idiot when I was younger. That would explain a lot.

This isn’t that, though, technically. It’s dermal fillers. Which aren’t even botox, before I go off on one about injecting a chemical weapon into your face. The same thing applies. You’ve done being young, now be old. Not trying any more absolutely rules. You get so much more done if you give up, trust me.

As you can probably surmise, my knowledge of this subject is limited. Hopefully it’s staying that way. Just on the basis that I found a live seminar video in amongst the seemingly months and months of footage where a woman had so many syringes in and around her face she looked like Pinhead from Hellraiser. Or the video to ‘Whatever’ by En Vogue (which I’m pretty sure is about this kind of thing anyway).

I mean, it’s all very safe and what have you, but seeing it up close takes you by surprise. Embrace your wrinkles, people.

Sorry, forget all that. I meant buy lots of JUVÉDERM® stuff so you don’t end up looking like Keith Richards PLZ.