Richarlison

Being an Everton fan is the nearest I think I’ll ever get to feeling like a mum. You turn up on sports day and cheer away, despite knowing your kid is shit and will lose. Genuinely, that’s the most romanticised version of it I can think of.

What’s funny about it is reading rival fans’ comments about how terrible Everton are and how much they despise them. I can’t get enough of it. You want to explain to them (usually a Liverpool fan from Lagos who used to support Chelsea or something) that however much you hate them, you can’t possibly hate them as much as I do. But that’s kind of the point. What’s the fun in supporting a team that wins everything?! You want a team that will thrash Manchester United 4-0 one week and then lose to Fulham the next. That level of masochism keeps you on your toes.

Anyway, the team’s MO is usually; pack the team full of mediocrity and have one player that’s a million miles better than those.

So here’s Richarlison.