Bauer Media Films

Like Jamie Vardy, these came thick and fast. Yes, they are a bit dark, but then that’s where primate-based dystopian futures get you. ‘Alien: Covenant’ is my favourite of these lot, what with Fassbender fighting himself in different accents. It’s the only one I’ve seen, anyway. I watched the ‘Sleepless’ trailer while making the page and it was an instant ‘no’ from me (looking at the critical reception, it’s wise to give it the swerve). And I don’t need to watch anything Spiderman related because I’m not twelve years old.

I don’t really like going to the cinema anyway. No, YOU’RE weird.