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Julianne Moore
Vector drawing. Moore. HUH. What is it good for?

I wish I had ‘The Big Lebowski’ on my CV. Even as just someone working in the background at the bowling alley or something. And ‘Magnolia’, come to think of it. I’d probably be a frog falling from the sky. I don’t think it’s going to happen, what with it not being the late 90s and time being linear and all that. Was it frogs? Or toads? And I do know the difference, before you ask. Frogs hop, toads walk. In your FACE.

So anyway, in amongst all the undoubted goodness (‘Boogie Nights’, ‘The Hours’, bits of ’30 Rock’) there’s ‘Hannibal’, which was never going to be as good as ‘Silence of the Lambs’. Anyone could have told you that. I personally didn’t mind the film but for the bit where Ray Liotta gets his head cut cut off with a scalpel, which WOULDN’T HAPPEN.

Avoid anything to do with ‘Game Change’. Moore dressed as Sarah Palin shouldn’t be allowed. And is far scarier than Gary Oldman being an indecipherable, psychotic facemelt in a wheelchair, feeding you to his pigs.

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